Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
