If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
false alarm, still single
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
