Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
