it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
