it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
