Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
that's an acceptable place to lick
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
