Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think people are normalizing furries
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
