She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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