I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
