I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
