And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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