Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
