so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
