So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
