She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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