Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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