I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
40s are totally the cure
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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