so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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