She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
