me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
