My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
