Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Please, let me fuck your mom
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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