This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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