She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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