I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
