Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
