I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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