Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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