Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
