Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I just found puke in my bra..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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