god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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