Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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