..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
