he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
