I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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