p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
