Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
