for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
