in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
