You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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