I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
