Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
