Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
