Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
