There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
