i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
