..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
