remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
