I CAN MOONWALK!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
