I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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