I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize