So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
