North Korea, Best Korea!
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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