forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Two words: nipple clamps
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