i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
