This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
