i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
im about as happy as oj after his trial
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize