ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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