I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
