The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Barsexuality is the new black.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
